“The Thing Women Have Yet to Learn: Nobody Gives You Power, You Must Take It.”

“The Thing Women Have Yet to Learn: Nobody Gives You Power, You Must Take It.”

In the fight for gender equality, power—its distribution, access, and exercise—has always been central. Power, in this context, refers to the ability to influence, make decisions, and assert control over one’s own life. Historically, women have been excluded from positions of power, both in the public and private spheres, and for much of history, this exclusion was not questioned. But as society has evolved, so too has the conversation about women and power.

The quote “The thing women have yet to learn is, nobody gives you power. You must take it,” often attributed to writer and activist Roseanne Barr, speaks to a critical aspect of the feminist movement: the need for women to actively claim their power rather than waiting for it to be granted. This statement underscores a broader truth that power is not something handed out by others, especially in a world where existing power structures are designed to maintain the status quo. Instead, it is something that must be seized through agency, courage, and self-determination.

This article will explore the historical and contemporary significance of women claiming power, the challenges they face, and the strategies they can employ to take control of their lives and destinies. By understanding the nature of power and recognizing the need to actively assert it, women can break through societal barriers and create lasting change.

The Historical Context of Power and Women

For centuries, power has been concentrated in the hands of men. In politics, religion, business, and family structures, men were historically the decision-makers and the gatekeepers of influence. Women were often relegated to subordinate roles, both legally and culturally. This distribution of power was rooted in patriarchal systems that saw men as the natural leaders and women as dependent and in need of protection or guidance.

Patriarchy and the Exclusion of Women

Patriarchy, the social system in which men hold primary power, has systematically excluded women from the political, economic, and social arenas where decisions are made. Women were often denied the right to vote, own property, pursue higher education, or hold leadership positions. In many parts of the world, women’s roles were confined to the domestic sphere, where their labor was undervalued and their influence limited to matters of the household.

This exclusion was not just the result of legal restrictions but also of deeply ingrained cultural norms that portrayed women as passive, nurturing, and unfit for the demands of leadership or public life. Power was framed as something inherently masculine, tied to aggression, control, and authority—qualities that women were traditionally discouraged from cultivating.

The Long Struggle for Power

The women’s rights movement, from the suffrage campaigns of the late 19th and early 20th centuries to the feminist waves of the 1960s and beyond, has been about challenging this exclusion and demanding equal access to power. Suffragists fought for the right to vote, feminists challenged gender roles in the workplace, and women’s rights advocates called for equal pay, reproductive rights, and legal protections against gender-based violence.

These struggles reflect the reality that power is rarely given voluntarily. Women had to demand their rights, organize, and fight to be heard in systems that were not designed to accommodate them. Every gain, from voting rights to workplace equality, was hard-won, highlighting the truth that waiting for power to be handed over is not a viable strategy for change.

Understanding the Nature of Power

To fully appreciate the meaning behind the quote “nobody gives you power, you must take it,” it’s important to understand the nature of power itself. Power is not just about controlling others or dominating spaces; it’s also about having agency over one’s own life, making choices, and having the resources to pursue goals.

Power as Control and Influence

At its core, power is about the ability to influence outcomes, whether in personal relationships, workplaces, or political systems. For too long, this type of power has been concentrated in male-dominated institutions, leading to systems that privilege men’s experiences and perspectives. Women, therefore, must not only demand equal representation in these spaces but also assert their own voices and influence.

Power is also about resources—financial, educational, social, and political. Women who have access to these resources are better positioned to take control of their lives and advocate for change. However, disparities in access to resources, particularly for women of color, women in poverty, and women in marginalized communities, make it clear that the fight for power is an ongoing one.

Power as Agency

Another critical aspect of power is agency, or the ability to make choices and take actions that reflect one’s own values and desires. For many women, claiming power starts with the recognition that they have the right to make decisions about their own lives, free from societal pressures or gendered expectations. This may involve taking control of one’s career path, pursuing education, or demanding autonomy in personal relationships.

Agency is a form of power that can manifest in small, everyday choices as well as in larger, more public actions. For women to truly claim power, they must recognize their own right to self-determination and reject the idea that their worth is defined by others.

The Barriers Women Face in Claiming Power

While the idea that women must take power rather than wait for it to be given is empowering, it’s important to acknowledge the significant barriers that stand in the way. These barriers are both structural and cultural, and they continue to limit women’s access to power in various ways.

Cultural Conditioning and Gender Norms

One of the most pervasive barriers is cultural conditioning that teaches women to be submissive, accommodating, and non-confrontational. From a young age, girls are often socialized to prioritize the needs of others, to be nurturing and agreeable, and to avoid behaviors that are perceived as assertive or ambitious—traits more commonly encouraged in boys. This conditioning can make it difficult for women to assert themselves in the workplace, in relationships, or in political spaces where power is traditionally exercised.

Women are often criticized or punished for exhibiting behaviors that are rewarded in men, such as assertiveness, ambition, and leadership. This phenomenon, known as the double bind, creates a no-win situation: women who assert themselves are seen as “bossy” or aggressive, while those who conform to traditional gender norms are often overlooked for leadership roles.

Structural Inequalities

In addition to cultural barriers, structural inequalities continue to limit women’s access to power. These include the gender pay gap, underrepresentation in leadership positions, and lack of access to education and resources. Despite progress, women are still vastly underrepresented in positions of political and corporate leadership. The systems that shape politics, business, and society at large are often male-dominated, making it difficult for women to break through and assert their power.

Intersectional feminism highlights how these barriers are even more pronounced for women who face multiple forms of discrimination, such as women of color, LGBTQ+ women, and women with disabilities. For these women, the path to power is often obstructed by layers of marginalization that make it harder to access opportunities and resources.

Internal Barriers: Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome

Another significant barrier to women claiming power is internal: self-doubt and imposter syndrome. Many women, even those who are highly qualified and competent, struggle with feelings of inadequacy or fear that they do not deserve the positions of power they aspire to. This can be exacerbated by societal messages that undervalue women’s contributions and achievements.

Imposter syndrome, the feeling of being a fraud or unworthy of success, is particularly prevalent among women in male-dominated fields. Overcoming this internal barrier requires not only personal resilience but also structural changes in how workplaces and institutions value and support women’s contributions.

How Women Can Take Power

Despite these challenges, women are not powerless, and there are many ways they can claim and assert their power in both personal and public spheres. The process of taking power involves cultivating self-confidence, building networks of support, and actively challenging the structures that maintain inequality.

Cultivating Confidence and Self-Belief

One of the first steps in claiming power is cultivating confidence and self-belief. Women must recognize their own worth, skills, and capabilities, and push back against the internal and external voices that tell them they are not enough. This requires unlearning the societal conditioning that tells women to be small, quiet, and deferential.

Confidence can be built through mentorship, self-reflection, and by surrounding oneself with people who support and uplift. It’s also important for women to take risks, step outside of their comfort zones, and pursue opportunities that allow them to exercise power and influence.

Building Networks and Alliances

No one takes power alone. Women must build strong networks and alliances with other women and supportive men who are committed to advancing gender equality. These networks can provide the resources, mentorship, and advocacy needed to break through barriers and achieve positions of power.

Women’s organizations, professional groups, and feminist movements play a key role in empowering women to take power collectively. By coming together to challenge structural inequalities and demand representation, women can amplify their voices and increase their influence.

Challenging the Status Quo

Taking power often requires challenging the status quo and pushing back against the systems that maintain inequality. This may involve advocating for policy changes, pushing for greater representation in leadership positions, or demanding equal pay and treatment in the workplace. Women who challenge the status quo must be prepared to face resistance, but by doing so, they pave the way for future generations of women to exercise their power more freely.

Conclusion

“The thing women have yet to learn is, nobody gives you power. You must take it.” This quote encapsulates a fundamental truth about the struggle for gender equality: power is not something that is granted voluntarily. Women must actively claim it, whether through personal agency, collective action, or challenging the systems that perpetuate inequality.

The journey to power is not an easy one, but by recognizing their own worth, building strong networks of support, and pushing back against the barriers that limit them, women can take control of their destinies and reshape the world. Ultimately, the fight for power is not just about individual success—it is about creating a world where all women have the opportunity to thrive, lead, and live with autonomy.

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